Just a Minute!

No business like snow business (5/8/09)

    Who knew? The snowstorms that paralyzed Seattle last December have become the longest-running comedy show since “Late Nite Catechism.”

     Thanks to dogged reporting by Susan Kelleher of The Seattle Times, we learned Seattle doesn’t plow its streets; it just packs the snow so as not to harm those little bumplets glued to the pavement. Then we learned the city does indeed plow, but it doesn’t use salt for fear of killing fish. Then the city decided it does use salt if the moon is in the seventh house and Jupiter aligns with Mars.

     What’s next? My guess is the city will set up a lucrative side business selling salted salmon to trendy restaurants.

     Now comes word that the guy in charge of December’s snowstorm response, Paul Jackson Jr., is an “unsafe, vindictive” manager who is “unwilling to listen.” In a selfless act of theatrical improvisation, Jackson has asked to be reassigned so as not to become a distraction in this ongoing Commedia dell’Arte.

     The upshot, of course, is that as long as global climate change doesn’t turn us into West Buffalo, Seattle’s attempts at snow removal after a huge storm will always be laughable – and best handled with a sense of humor.

JUST A MINUTE! is a weekly essay intended to be read in about 60 seconds. Find more online at seattlepostglobe.org.